the title is an allusion to a taylor swift song by the title of white horse. i have no idea why i put it up lolz. doesn't seem to mean anything.
anyway, its been a month since the last post to myself. how has life been... well this is the summary:
Work - Chambering pupil. Slavery. Trying to get along with it.
Family - Addition of pups. Ziggy 'Longkang' Marley and Dela Marley.
Social life - Adding and maintaining :).
Love life - Trying my best to forget her. but still get hurt when ignored or treated insignificantly. sigh. i hate love :).
Music - Prime Circle - She always get what she wants. Taylor Swift - anything.
Fitness - Trying my best to train hard again.
Food - Eating too much nonsense and irregularly because of hectic work.
Sleep - deprived.
Emotional state - Generally lethargy erases 'em but can get a bit moody come night but full of zest in the morning. depends if i have to deal with the ex. with friends, usually ichiban.
Sex - hmm.
Till next time.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
27th September 2009 - Stupidity.
Eliot Yamin - Wait for you.
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
This song appeared on the radio while I was driving home after having dinner with my good friend from Part I. It just kept on playing in my head. So I guess, rather than have it keep on playing, I ll just put it down here. Hopefully it will rest here. :).
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
This song appeared on the radio while I was driving home after having dinner with my good friend from Part I. It just kept on playing in my head. So I guess, rather than have it keep on playing, I ll just put it down here. Hopefully it will rest here. :).
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
23rd September 2009 - I miss Marley.
3 days back, my dog was poisoned and died painfully in my hands.
Tears, sadness and emptiness. I never thought that I would be this sentimental. But I guess, I am. Maybe now I am. I dont know. But I can only say that its an enveloping sadness. I did not come back to see him die like that. Ohh how my heart breaks.
Just 2 days prior to this unfortunate event, I had another unfortunate event. I went emotions bazooka and realised that I was too stupid to hold on to things that should have passed. The past can never return. If I want to chase her, then I have to chase the future her. That is what I learned. I was sad that day. I was empty. and at the same time, I was relieved.
Whenever I am sad, Marley is always there for me. I patted him. Rubbed his tummy and his scruff. Now that he is gone, who will leg me rub his or her belly?
Marley I miss you dearly.
Tears, sadness and emptiness. I never thought that I would be this sentimental. But I guess, I am. Maybe now I am. I dont know. But I can only say that its an enveloping sadness. I did not come back to see him die like that. Ohh how my heart breaks.
Just 2 days prior to this unfortunate event, I had another unfortunate event. I went emotions bazooka and realised that I was too stupid to hold on to things that should have passed. The past can never return. If I want to chase her, then I have to chase the future her. That is what I learned. I was sad that day. I was empty. and at the same time, I was relieved.
Whenever I am sad, Marley is always there for me. I patted him. Rubbed his tummy and his scruff. Now that he is gone, who will leg me rub his or her belly?
Marley I miss you dearly.
Friday, September 18, 2009
18th September 2009 - A cup of coffee and a jug of lemonade.
They say, lessons learned in life are lessons learned alive. I say, life is a lesson. It can be a happy, sad, painful or enjoyable lesson depending on how the winds of fate blow you about and where the sails of destiny take you around.
Right now, I have to say, I passing an ocean. It is one big ass wide ocean. I see nothing in front of me, only a horizon in the distance. Where I am heading, even I do not know. Where I want to be heading, that I might just know. But where I will eventually head to, only time will tell. And time never lies. It does not negotiate too. 'Cos if I can negotiate with time, I will give so much just to turn back time. Not asking a lot. 1 year. But alas, I must be dreaming today. Either that or I might just be trapped in a melancholic mood that somehow affected my sense of logic.
Life can be bitter and it can be sour. I guess, perhaps the best thing is to just drink a cup of coffee when the bitterness becomes unbearable and make a jug of lemonades when life gives u too much lemons.
Until then, au revoir.
Right now, I have to say, I passing an ocean. It is one big ass wide ocean. I see nothing in front of me, only a horizon in the distance. Where I am heading, even I do not know. Where I want to be heading, that I might just know. But where I will eventually head to, only time will tell. And time never lies. It does not negotiate too. 'Cos if I can negotiate with time, I will give so much just to turn back time. Not asking a lot. 1 year. But alas, I must be dreaming today. Either that or I might just be trapped in a melancholic mood that somehow affected my sense of logic.
Life can be bitter and it can be sour. I guess, perhaps the best thing is to just drink a cup of coffee when the bitterness becomes unbearable and make a jug of lemonades when life gives u too much lemons.
Until then, au revoir.
Friday, September 4, 2009
4th September 2009 - Between home and away
Touchdown on the 23rd of Aug.
I miss home. That I can be sure.
I meet the family. They are as they were. My family. fully functional and sometimes dysfunctional. mom, dad and bro.
I meet the dogs. Same old same old. even the new one seems to know me from b4.
I meet the relatives. Some are as they were. Some are fuckier.
I meet the panda. Still love her even though things are not the same. I hope some day, somehow there will be a chance that I can still touch her heart. Exactly a year prior, on this date, it was the last day I saw her in person as my girlffriend. It was a day that tore my heart and left a great imprint there. It's still there. How I can erase it is beyond me.
Next will the friends. Looking forward to see them.
Until then, au revoir.
I miss home. That I can be sure.
I meet the family. They are as they were. My family. fully functional and sometimes dysfunctional. mom, dad and bro.
I meet the dogs. Same old same old. even the new one seems to know me from b4.
I meet the relatives. Some are as they were. Some are fuckier.
I meet the panda. Still love her even though things are not the same. I hope some day, somehow there will be a chance that I can still touch her heart. Exactly a year prior, on this date, it was the last day I saw her in person as my girlffriend. It was a day that tore my heart and left a great imprint there. It's still there. How I can erase it is beyond me.
Next will the friends. Looking forward to see them.
Until then, au revoir.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
2nd July 2009 - Elation, depression and reminiscence.
I am happy. Wow. Got my Very Competent as well as prize winner for top legal research marks.
I am elated. Wow. I have been slacking year long. And now, there's not even a mark lower than VC on my results slip.
I am depressed. Last night I was praying hard for my results. Now I will have to start praying hard for our relationship.
Past. I think of her. I love her.
Present. She told it wouldnt made any diffference if I was here or home. I dont know. But I love her.
Future. Settle things back home. I asked myself - Can I patch instead of settling.
I am elated. Wow. I have been slacking year long. And now, there's not even a mark lower than VC on my results slip.
I am depressed. Last night I was praying hard for my results. Now I will have to start praying hard for our relationship.
Past. I think of her. I love her.
Present. She told it wouldnt made any diffference if I was here or home. I dont know. But I love her.
Future. Settle things back home. I asked myself - Can I patch instead of settling.
1st July 2009 - Anxiety
Results will be out soon enough.
Praying hard.
I know I have not been a good student. I know I have not done all the work that I should. I know I have been not that hardworking at all.
I just want to pass.
Still praying.
Praying hard.
I know I have not been a good student. I know I have not done all the work that I should. I know I have been not that hardworking at all.
I just want to pass.
Still praying.
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